I am about to tell you one of the meanest things I ever recall doing in high school. Please try not to hate me.

I was 15 years old and away at summer camp, rooming with a girl a year or two younger than me. She was sweet and lovely, and she was a “horse person.” You know what I mean, right? One does not just own a horse—one loves, eats, breathes, sleeps, and dies for their horse. One is a horse person. I say this with love and affection for all my relatives and youth I’ve pastored who are horse people.

So, my roommate was a horse person. And naturally we started talking about…you know, horses. And over the course of this conversation she mentioned something about pets in heaven, and I, being the brilliant biblical scholar I was as a sophomore in high school, knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that such an idea was absolutely ridiculous.

Obviously I could not keep this information to myself. So, I, knowing full well that she was a horse person— that she loved this horse more than anything in the world—blurted out with glee and certitude, “Wait, you do know that animals don’t go to heaven, right?” She was crushed. She excused herself from the conversation and stepped out into the hallway, where I could hear her crying on the phone to her mom.

It was only years later when I got married and adopted three pets in six months, that I found myself remembering that conversation and wondering not only why I had been such a complete and total jerk, but also why I had been so certain animals don’t go to heaven. After all, isn’t the vision Isaiah gives us of heaven that of a lion lying down with a lamb (11:6)? And doesn’t Paul suggest that all of creation will be redeemed (Rom 8:19-25)? Look, I’m not definitively saying that all dogs go to heaven, but I’m not not saying that either. And I don’t think anyone can definitively say that…especially not 15 year old, jerk Alissa.

My grandfather was a wonderful, joyful man, and he loved animals, even though I never heard him admit to it. He feigned apathy for the cat he and my grandmother took in, but I often caught him chatting to that cat like an old friend, affectionately calling him “buddy.” My grandfather didn’t even try to hide his enjoyment of our 70lb. golden retriever, Henry, even though Henry—poorly trained as he was—repeatedly jumped on him whenever Grandpa would walk into the room.

A few months after he died, Amelia and I were talking about how much we missed PapPap when all of a sudden I saw a light go on in her head. Her eyes lit up and she said excitedly, “Hey! Maybe when Henry dies he can be PapPap’s dog in heaven.” I’m not an expert in childhood development, but I have learned that when children have something to say about spiritual matters, they are usually on to something. Amelia knew how my grandpa and Henry loved each other, and she knew that heaven is a place where we are reunited with our loved ones. I hope she’s right, and I think we have good reason to hope it.

That said, the point here is not what happens to animals when they die, but what we do when it happens. The point is that pets matter. They matter to us, and they matter to God, and when they die, we ought to mark that death, not only because we need to grieve, but because perhaps the God who created them and called them good does too.

It can be difficult to know what to say—or maybe you feel funny saying it. So, I’ve put together a short service that can be used to say goodbye to and/or bury a pet that has passed. It can be led by anyone—especially children—and readings may be distributed among family members. I hope it helps gives expression to your gratitude and grief for a beloved pet some day in the very distant future.

Liturgy for the Loss of a Beloved Animal

Opening Prayer

O God, you created all that is, and you love all that you have made: we come to you this day in grief and with thanksgiving. We grieve the death of our beloved N., who has been our companion for so many years, and we thank you for the gift of their presence among us as a sign of the richness of your creation and of the generosity of your love; through Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

A Reading from Isaiah

The wolf shall live with the lamb,
the leopard shall lie down with the kid,
the calf and the lion and the fatling together,
and a little child shall lead them.
The cow and the bear shall graze,
their young shall lie down together;
and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child shall play over the hole of the asp,
and the weaned child shall put its hand on the adder’s den.
They will not hurt or destroy
on all my holy mountain;
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.

A few words of remembrance may be offered.

“What I loved most about ______”

“I won’t forget the way s/he________”

Praying in unison:

Let us pray:

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

A burial, or scattering of ashes may take place here, while singing the following hymn.

Hymn: All Things Bright and Beautiful

All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small.
all things wise and wonderful, the lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colours, He made their tiny wings.

chorus

The purple headed mountain, the rivers running by,
the sunset, and the morning that brightens up the sky.

chorus

The cold wind in the winter, the pleasant summer sun,
the ripe fruits in the garden, he made them every one.

chorus

He gave us eyes to see them, and lips that we might tell
how great is God Almighty, who has made all things well.

chorus

Closing Prayer

God, your blessed son, Jesus, told us that not even one, tiny sparrow is forgotten in your sight. Give us eyes to see the good in all you have created, and hearts to love and serve you. Amen.

More Resources and Prayers

https://www.episcopalchurch.org/files/service_at_the_loss_of_a_beloved_animal.pdf

https://www.stmartininthefields.org/wp-content/uploads/Service-at-the-Loss-of-a-Beloved-Animal.pdf