Service At the Loss of a Beloved Animal

I am about to tell you one of the meanest things I ever recall doing in high school. Please try not to hate me.

I was 15 years old and away at summer camp, rooming with a girl a year or two younger than me. She was sweet and lovely, and she was a “horse person.” You know what I mean, right? One does not just own a horse—one loves, eats, breathes, sleeps, and dies for their horse. One is a horse person. I say this with love and affection for all my relatives and youth I’ve pastored who are horse people.

So, my roommate was a horse person. And naturally we started talking about…you know, horses. And over the course of this conversation she mentioned something about pets in heaven, and I, being the brilliant biblical scholar I was as a sophomore in high school, knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that such an idea was absolutely ridiculous.

Obviously I could not keep this information to myself. So, I, knowing full well that she was a horse person— that she loved this horse more than anything in the world—blurted out with glee and certitude, “Wait, you do know that animals don’t go to heaven, right?” She was crushed. She excused herself from the conversation and stepped out into the hallway, where I could hear her crying on the phone to her mom.

It was only years later when I got married and adopted three pets in six months, that I found myself remembering that conversation and wondering not only why I had been such a complete and total jerk, but also why I had been so certain animals don’t go to heaven. After all, isn’t the vision Isaiah gives us of heaven that of a lion lying down with a lamb (11:6)? And doesn’t Paul suggest that all of creation will be redeemed (Rom 8:19-25)? Look, I’m not definitively saying that all dogs go to heaven, but I’m not not saying that either. And I don’t think anyone can definitively say that…especially not 15 year old, jerk Alissa.

My grandfather was a wonderful, joyful man, and he loved animals, even though I never heard him admit to it. He feigned apathy for the cat he and my grandmother took in, but I often caught him chatting to that cat like an old friend, affectionately calling him “buddy.” My grandfather didn’t even try to hide his enjoyment of our 70lb. golden retriever, Henry, even though Henry—poorly trained as he was—repeatedly jumped on him whenever Grandpa would walk into the room.

A few months after he died, Amelia and I were talking about how much we missed PapPap when all of a sudden I saw a light go on in her head. Her eyes lit up and she said excitedly, “Hey! Maybe when Henry dies he can be PapPap’s dog in heaven.” I’m not an expert in childhood development, but I have learned that when children have something to say about spiritual matters, they are usually on to something. Amelia knew how my grandpa and Henry loved each other, and she knew that heaven is a place where we are reunited with our loved ones. I hope she’s right, and I think we have good reason to hope it.

That said, the point here is not what happens to animals when they die, but what we do when it happens. The point is that pets matter. They matter to us, and they matter to God, and when they die, we ought to mark that death, not only because we need to grieve, but because perhaps the God who created them and called them good does too.

It can be difficult to know what to say—or maybe you feel funny saying it. So, I’ve put together a short service that can be used to say goodbye to and/or bury a pet that has passed. It can be led by anyone—especially children—and readings may be distributed among family members. I hope it helps gives expression to your gratitude and grief for a beloved pet some day in the very distant future.

Liturgy for the Loss of a Beloved Animal

Opening Prayer

O God, you created all that is, and you love all that you have made: we come to you this day in grief and with thanksgiving. We grieve the death of our beloved N., who has been our companion for so many years, and we thank you for the gift of their presence among us as a sign of the richness of your creation and of the generosity of your love; through Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

A Reading from Isaiah

The wolf shall live with the lamb,
the leopard shall lie down with the kid,
the calf and the lion and the fatling together,
and a little child shall lead them.
The cow and the bear shall graze,
their young shall lie down together;
and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child shall play over the hole of the asp,
and the weaned child shall put its hand on the adder’s den.
They will not hurt or destroy
on all my holy mountain;
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.

A few words of remembrance may be offered.

“What I loved most about ______”

“I won’t forget the way s/he________”

Praying in unison:

Let us pray:

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

A burial, or scattering of ashes may take place here, while singing the following hymn.

Hymn: All Things Bright and Beautiful

                        All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small.
                        all things wise and wonderful, the lord God made them all. 

                        Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings,
                        He made their glowing colours, He made their tiny wings. 

                        chorus            

                        The purple headed mountain, the rivers running by,
                        the sunset, and the morning that brightens up the sky. 

                        chorus           

                        The cold wind in the winter, the pleasant summer sun,
                        the ripe fruits in the garden, he made them every one. 

                        chorus

                        He gave us eyes to see them, and lips that we might tell
                        how great is God Almighty, who has made all things well.

                        chorus  

Closing Prayer

God, your blessed son, Jesus, told us that not even one, tiny sparrow is forgotten in your sight. Give us eyes to see the good in all you have created, and hearts to love and serve you. Amen.

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More Resources and Prayers

https://www.episcopalchurch.org/files/service_at_the_loss_of_a_beloved_animal.pdf

https://www.stmartininthefields.org/wp-content/uploads/Service-at-the-Loss-of-a-Beloved-Animal.pdf

Francis and the Leper: A Children’s Lesson for St. Francis Day

The feast of St. Francis on October 4 is one of my very favorite saint days to celebrate with children. From taking your pets to an animal blessing to making a pine cone bird feeder in honor of the (arguably crazy) man who preached even to birds, there’s no shortage of fun activities and larger than life stories to make St. Francis come alive for children.

While Francis’ devotion to all creatures great and small is a huge part of his legacy, focusing solely on it can have the unintended affect of domesticating and pigeonholing (pun intended) a man who clearly refused to be tamed and defied categorization.

While Francis was gentle, he was not docile: taking his father’s money to build a church, stripping naked in court, confronting a wolf, receiving the stigmata. These are not the actions of a sweet ordinary man who just happens to be a Christian Dr. Doolittle. Francis was bizarre and radical and there’s so much more to him than puppies and kittens.

One story that demonstrates Francis’ radically compassionate nature is his encounter with a leper before his dramatic conversion. I love the parallels between this story and Jesus’ encounters with lepers, and how it models compassion, empathy, and listening to the Holy Spirit. Below you’ll find a short lesson that can be modified for children between the ages of 2-10. If you’re familiar with Godly Play or Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, you’ll recognize the story and follow up questions follow a similar format. I also had to include the Francis coloring page because I love that it has his prayer printed on it—a great one for older kids and adults to memorize!

The Story

There once was a man named Francis. He was born a long time ago in Assisi, Italy around 1181.  His father sold very beautiful and expensive clothes, and had lots of money to buy Francis anything he could ever want. Francis wore fancy clothes, and he went to big extravagant parties where there were long tables of delicious food and drink. Everyone danced and laughed all night without a care in the world.

But not everyone lived like Francis. In Francis’ town there were people called Lepers. Lepers had a terrible disease called leprosy—it caused them to have sores all over their body that were very painful and also very contagious. Nobody wanted to catch this disease, so they would stay far away from lepers. When people saw a leper on the street, they would turn and walk the other way. Absolutely no one touched a leper. One day, Francis was riding down the road and he saw a leper. He was terrified of getting the disease, so he quickly turned to go in the opposite direction. But as he turned, something stopped him. Francis remembered the story of Jesus healing a leper in the Bible, and he knew that he couldn’t just walk away. Francis felt compassion for this leper who had not been touched in years. He imagined what it would be like to have no one to hug you when you are sad, or pat your back when you are sick, or shake your hand to say hello— and he knew he could not simply walk away. Instead, Francis walked right over to the man, and kissed him! Then, Francis emptied his pockets and gave the leper all they money he had.

Francis left the man but he always remembered him. Not long after that, he devoted his life to serving the sick and the poor. Francis gave away all his fancy clothes and money. He had no home and he ate only what people gave him. Then he traveled around the country telling anyone who would listen—even animals—about Jesus’s love for them. He helped so many people and loved God so much that the church named him a saint. We know him today as St. Francis of Assisi.

Wondering Questions

Ask these questions curiously, and slowly, allowing time for children to respond, even if the pause feels awkward. You’ll notice they aren’t really questions, but “wondering sentences” that invite children to respond imaginatively to the story. Try to let their answers sit without correction or judgment.

I wonder who the leper was? I wonder if he had a family or friends?

I wonder how it felt to never be touched?

I wonder how the leper felt when Francis kissed him?

I wonder why Francis gave away all of his money and belongings? 

I wonder if Francis ever missed his things after he gave them away? 

I wonder if someone has ever helped you when you were sick or in need?

I wonder if you have ever helped someone like the leper who was sick or in need?

Closing Prayer

Loving God, help us to follow in the way of St. Francis by loving all of creation with our whole hearts and caring for those in need, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Going Deeper

Francis kissed the leper because he remembered the story of Jesus healing a leper in the Gospels. Read Mark 1:40-45, and discuss why Jesus healed the leper (1:41), and the similarities between the actions of Jesus and Francis.

Activity

St. Francis gave all he had to the poor—even the clothes off his back. Help your children go through their closet or toy chest and find things to give away.

Children’s Books about St. Francis

Demi. St. Francis of Assisi. Ages 4+

Denham, Joyce. St. Francis of Assisi. Ages 5-10

Feri, Giuliano. The Prayer of St. Francis. Ages 3+

Paterson, Katherine. Brother Sun, Sister Moon. Ages 4+

Wildsmith, Brian. St. Francis. Ages 4+

Michaelmas and Guardian Angels

September 29 is Michaelmas (Michael + mass just like Christ + mass = Christmas), the feast of St. Michael and All Angels. If I’m being completely honest, angels are an elusive topic to me that I rarely think about because reading Revelation weirds me out a little bit.

But this year Amelia is attending a Catholic school and she’s had to memorize The Guardian Angel prayer, a classic for Catholics. I’ll admit, I had my qualms with it at first: the rhyming felt kitschy (jokes on me—it was actually written by a monk in the 11th century) and directing prayers to an angel upset my Protestant sensibilities (we can discuss that another time). Nonetheless, Amelia had to learn it, so we taped it to the door and read it each morning before she left for school.

And you know what? Reciting that prayer day after day changed something in me. That small act of praying so directly for God’s angels to protect my five year old before I send her out the door each morning eased anxieties I didn’t even know I had. Anxieties about her safety, about her not making friends, about whether or not the friends she made would be good ones, and—if I’m being honest—about her being the victim of another school shooting. I’m an Enneagram Six, and worst case scenarios are constantly flashing in my mind.

But reciting that prayer every morning became an act of holding those fears and worst case scenarios up to God and releasing them. It’s a reminder that when Amelia walks out our door, she is in God’s hands, that I am in God’s hands, and that this whole crazy and sometimes terrifying world is, too.

So this Sunday, I’m going to suck it up and read Revelation 12 and be reminded once again that in the battle between God’s angels and the forces of evil, God wins. Always. And then we are going to keep praying that little prayer each morning even though we don’t have to anymore.

If you’d like a copy, you can download it here. I even wrote a Protestant version for all my kindred spirits.

And if you’d like resources on celebrating Michaelmas, I recommend this Step-by-Step guide as well as this post on Michaelmas Traditions by Haley Stewart, who runs a blog called…wait for it….Carrots for Michaelmas.

Happy Michaelmas!

Christmas Pageant 2018